The Divorced Divorce Attorney

Blog 2: When Is It Over?

Making the decision to end a marriage is difficult.  When has it been enough?  When is it over?  This is a personal decision.  Some people have more patience than others.  Sometimes there are legal reasons to stay married, even if the love is gone.  Every situation is different.  A family law lawyer’s job isn’t to decide when a marriage is over, her job is to help the client to the resolution of the divorce proceedings whether through settlement or trial.  Going through my own divorce hasn’t changed my position on that.  However, I am now, more than ever, a proponent of marriage counseling.

Many people don’t know that the divorce statute starts with a section that actually states that the purpose of the statute is to preserve the family.  Sometimes families can be preserved by staying married.  Sometimes the only way to preserve a family is to dissolve the marriage.

Marital counseling must work for some people.  I don’t know any, but I’m sure they are out there.  As a divorce attorney, I don’t really get to see the success stories of marital counseling.  By the time people come to see me, it is normally over.

The court can order two parties to attend counseling.  I have seen a judge do it.  From a practical standpoint, however, the court cannot force both parties to participate meaningfully. 

I opted to try counseling before I filed for divorce.  I hoped for some kind of miracle.  I hoped that the therapist would say something profound; something that would enlighten my husband and I.  There had to be something simple that we were missing.  We are two educated individuals who both love our son.  We have mostly the same values, blah,  blah, blah. . .  Fix us! 

When my realization that it was really over came, in an individual therapy session, it wasn’t what I wanted.  There was no magic pill or touchy feely exercise that would fix my marriage.  Fixing a marriage takes two people who want to fix the marriage.  I found out that I was the one who didn’t want to fix the marriage anymore.  I was over it.  I was nearly through the grieving process already.  My unhappiness in the relationship had gone on for too long and I couldn’t come back from it or, according to my therapist, I didn’t want to come back from it. 

If you are reading this blog because you are unhappy but you have not passed the proverbial point of no return, do not stop, do not pass go, go straight to therapy!  Do everything you can to save your marriage because divorce is really no fun at all.

Florida is a no fault state.  Neither party needs a reason to get a divorce other than that they feel the marriage is irretrievably broken.  Even in uncontested matters, the court will ask for testimony regarding this.  The question will be asked, “Is there any amount of counseling that the court could order, that you feel could save your marriage?”  How could one really know the answer unless they have tried.  I personally feel that the difficult decision to end a marriage should be made by an individual after she has a grip on whether the marriage can be saved and after all attempts to save the marriage, including counseling, have been exhausted.  I love helping people and I am happy to have been chosen by many people to be the attorney who helps them through a divorce but I am even happier for the folks that I never get to see because they were able to fix it. 

Until next time,
Cori

Corrine Bylund, Esquire
Zisser, Brown, Nowlis, & Cabrey P.A.
One Independent Drive #3306
Jacksonville, FL 32202
www.zisser.net

The Divorced Divorce Attorney

Blog 1: The Divorced Divorce Attorney

I have been in the divorce business for a little over fourteen years.  I started as a paralegal at a small firm in Green Bay, Wisconsin, and handled divorce files for four years there.  When I was in my second year of law school, I started as a law clerk doing research and writing for Barry Zisser, Elliot Zisser, Don Brown, Nancy Nowlis and Brian Cabrey.  I was lucky enough for them to keep me after I graduated and I have now been practicing as an attorney for a little over seven years.  Over the past fourteen years, I have worked with hundreds of clients and felt that I had a firm grip on the issues that people encounter in divorces.  I thought I had learned to strike a pretty good balance in being compassionate while still managing clients and their expectations.  It wasn’t until I became a mother myself that I became a little more sensitive to children’s issues. Then, it wasn’t until I went through my own divorce that I realized things I thought were minor were really kind of major when viewing them through the eyes of someone going through a divorce.

Today, I was having a discussion with a judge and an opposing attorney.  We were talking about communication and how important it is that two parents get past their hang ups about the divorce and put the children first.  I shared that I felt I was lucky.  My ex-husband and I aren’t buddies.  I would say that we don’t even get along that well.  However, he knows that if he needs to talk about our son or if he needs help with our son, he can call me and I won’t backhand him with some motion about how incompetent he is the following week.  I know that if I need him to pick up our son from school on two Thursdays in a row, that are supposed to be my Thursdays, he isn’t going to tell me it is my problem and he isn’t going to sling it in my face that I am some kind of absentee mother that puts my career before our son.  Everyday issues that we, two people who couldn’t save our marriage and two people that don’t even like each other sometimes, work out without issue are turned into motions and brought into the courts for judges to decide.  The judges who manage several hundred files at one time and who might rule on issues involving egregious child abuse in the same day that someone wants them to decide whether it is appropriate for a 7 year old to have a cellular phone.

The judge I was speaking to and my opposing counsel both agreed that I was not typical.  Opposing counsel suggested, as we were walking out of the courthouse together, that I should start a blog to share my experience and maybe help others through the difficulties of divorce.

I’m certainly not perfect and I’m sure that some people will disagree with how I choose to handle my life but here I am, starting a blog and hoping that something that I post will be helpful to someone.  Love, Cori

Corrine Bylund, Esquire
Zisser, Brown, Nowlis, & Cabrey P.A.
One Independent Drive #3306
Jacksonville, FL 32202
www.zisser.net

Attorney Elliot Zisser Named the Best Lawyers’ 2013 Jacksonville Family Law "Lawyer of The Year"

JACKSONVILLE, FL, September 25, 2012 – Zisser, Robison, Brown, Nowlis, Maciejewski &Cabrey P.A. is proud to announce that their managing partner, Attorney Elliot Zisser, is named the Best Lawyers' 2013 Jacksonville Family Law, "Lawyer of the Year." Only a single lawyer in each practice area in each community is being honored as the “Lawyer of the Year". In addition, Attorney Zisser was selected by his peers to be included in The Best Lawyers in America, 19th Edition for his work in the practice area of Family Law. 

“It was a complete surprise to be selected for this honor. There are many fine family lawyers in Jacksonville and in this firm. Being selected with input from my peers into the process is very gratifying and humbling,” said Attorney Elliot Zisser. Mr. Zisser’s listing in the 2013 edition marks 25 years of this exclusive selection by his peers as one of the best in his specialty.

Partner and brother, Attorney Barry Zisser said, “I am so proud of my brother and I know our parents would be just as proud!” Barry and Elliot Zisser have worked together at Zisser, Robison, Brown, Nowlis, Maciejewski & Cabrey P.A. for the past 41 years. 

About Attorney Elliot Zisser

Attorney Elliot Zisser is Florida Bar Board Certified in Marital and Family Law. Mr. Zisser has practiced family law for over forty years in Jacksonville, Florida for the law firm of Zisser, Robison, Brown, Nowlis, Maciejewski & Cabrey. He has many honors including being named to Thomson Reuters Super Lawyers Magazine, Florida Trend Magazine’s Legal Elite, and Jacksonville Magazine’s Best Lawyers List. Additionally Elliot Zisser holds Martindale-Hubble’s highest preeminent AV rating and a 10 out of 10 Superb AVVO rating. 

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If you would like additional information, please call Caroline Geoghegan at (904) 353-3222 or e-mail at cgeoghegan@zisser.net

“Safety Tips: How to Keep You and Your Family Safe this Summer”

With the summer months approaching, people become more active and families embark on vacations.  Whether you go out of town for vacation, or stay at home, the following tips will help keep you safe and healthy, and will allow you to enjoy the summer without experiencing a serious incident:

1.     When traveling, do not let children go off alone. This is particularly important when stopping at gas stations, quick stops, rest areas, or for food. Have an adult or an older child accompany younger children to restrooms, and make sure that children know not to engage in conversation with strangers.

2.      Be careful in shopping center parking lots while getting gas for you car.  An emerging crime here in Jacksonville, and in the Florida area, is purse snatching and identity theft. Do not leave your purse exposed on the car seat, and make sure to lock your car when pumping gas. If you are leaving a shopping center mall after daylight hours, have a security officer or guard accompany you to your car.  When leaving the mall during daylight hours, be aware of your surroundings. If at any time you feel that you are being followed or approached, take steps to alert others such as screaming, yelling, or pushing the panic button on your key to your automobile. If you are in your car, and are approached by a stranger, sound the horn and pull away if possible. This is a perfect example of how an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

3.      Prevent sunburn and treat insect bites promptly. Many families head outdoors and go camping or hiking during the summer. The sun causes damage to people of all skin tones, and therefore everyone should take precaution and wear sun screen of SPF 15 or higher.  Insect bites (i.e mosquitoes, chiggers, gnats, etc.) can cause local skin discomfort and sometimes generalized sickness. Treat bites appropriately and apply alcohol to the affected area. If swelling or other localized pain and discomfort intensifies go to the emergency room or see a doctor immediately.  Some insect and other bites can cause serious allergic reactions in some people.

4.      Plan for emergencies or delays when traveling.  When traveling by car, make sure that you take water and snacks with you in the event that you break down and have an extended wait for help to arrive.  Also, take a fully charged cell phone with you on your trip along with your phone charger, and make sure that someone at home knows where you will be, how long you will be away, and your expected date of return. Check your spare tire and fluid levels before departing on your trip. When children are traveling without their parents for an extended period, make sure they call home daily to check in. When traveling by air, make sure that you stay aware of your surroundings, and advise airline personnel of any suspicious activity.

5.     Boating safety. Just as drinking does not mix well with driving, the same is true with drinking and boating. Most boating-related injuries and deaths involve alcohol and/or lack of preparation in the event of an emergency. If you are responsible for operating the boat/vessel do not drink. Make sure those aboard the vessel follow local laws concerning open containers. Also ensure that there are life preservers/floatation devices available for each occupant on board the boat. Obey wake zones and speed limits and do not allow horseplay or recklessness aboard the vessel at any time. If the weather is threatening, do not travel too far from shore, or better yet, make the decision not to go boating that particular day. 

6.      Motorcycles. Sunny days are great for riding motorcycles. Motorcyclists as a group are some of the safest people on the road, its automobile drivers that are most often responsible for causing motorcycle accidents.  Remember that as a motorcyclist you are a smaller target and may be in some other vehicle’s blind spot.  When passing or turning, properly clear yourself and always use turn and arm and hand signals when required. Make sure that you have a fully operational horn on your motorcycle, and don’t forget to wear a helmet and protective clothing.

7.     Barbecue Grills. Summer is a time for having parties, picnics, and barbecues. Before using your grill, do a visual inspection to make sure that the hoses are not worn or frayed, and that your propane tank is not rusted or corroded. Use only propane tanks that have an overfill protection device (OPD). If there is any doubt about the safety of your grill, have someone professionally inspect and repair the grill, or buy a new one.  Many injuries and deaths are caused every year due to exploding propane gas grills.

8.      Drinking and driving simply do not mix. If you are out at a party, a restaurant, or visiting with friends and you intend to consume alcohol, assign a designated driver or make the decision to take a taxi to and from your destination.  When in doubt, always call a cab. A DUI is not only an embarrassment, but it will also cause you to have a record.  It is far less expensive to take a taxi than it is to pay a fine for a DUI. Be smart and think ahead.

Summer is a time for fun, and by following these safety tips you are more likely to avoid accidents, and have a memorable, enjoyable and injury-free summer vacation.

Donald M. Maciejewski, Esq.

Consumer Justice Attorney

Zisser Robison Brown Nowlis Maciejewski & Cabrey, P.A.

1 Independent Drive, Suite 3306

Jacksonville, FL 32202
http://www.zisser.net/

Privacy Please

Privacy, Please

            What you post on Facebook can be used against you in a court of law. Did you really think that Facebook status or Tweet about your soon to be ex-spouse would never be seen again? Think again. In today’s court room, family law attorneys are using social media outlets, e-mails, and texts as evidence, against the opposing party.

            In the past, young people were warned to never write anything in a letter or anyplace else that they would be ashamed to see as a headline in the next day’s newspaper. Obviously, times have changed. Social media is overflowing with news of celebrity activity. Reality shows on television are highly popular. Now many peoples’ greatest desire is to become famous and to have all aspects of their lives as an open book.

            However, as Charlie Sheen, Britney Spears, and some others have found to their sorrow, when they are in court, incidents in their private lives that at one time seemed like an amusing lark look very different when their ability to spend time with or raise their children is at issue.

            Peoples’ personal lives are increasingly being examined in the court room through social media outlets that they have themselves created. Facebook posts are not private. A teacher from Georgia recently lost her job because a school board member somehow saw a post on her Facebook with a picture of her, drink in hand, and a reference to partying.

            E-mail messages, text messages, and Twitter can all be brought into the court under the appropriate circumstances.  One cannot assume that messages in which a spouse vents about their partner’s behavior, exults in a goings-on during a lost weekend, or shares information about a negligent incident with a child, will not be put before a Judge for consideration. Also, if you leave an angry or vulgar message on your spouse’s phone, you could end up in court feeling quite embarrassed as the judge listens to that message. Unpleasant messages that convey a threat can be the basis for entry of domestic violence injunction against you.

            Currently, e-mails, texts, and other forms of technological communication, are part of many peoples’ daily lives. The old adage, “How would you like to read this as a front page headline tomorrow?”, is still applicable. No one anticipates being involved in litigation that includes scrutiny of their private life. However, thinking twice before sharing graphic pictures and you most raw feelings with others can save much grief in the future. 

by: Attorney Nancy N. Nowlis

Zisser, Robison, Brown, Nowlis, Maciejewski & Cabrey P.A.

DUI's Make A New Year Not So Happy

New Year’s Eve is a time to celebrate, make resolutions, and ring in the 2012 year with some adult beverages. DUI’s make a New Year not so happy.  As wonderful as our City is, we suffer from a severe lack of practical public transportation and often times we have to drive long distances between where we live and where we want to go for fun. Police officers know this. We see them hanging out at busy intersections, at the bottom of our most traveled bridges, and in the middle of Jacksonville’s entertainment zones...waiting. You just finished dinner with friends and had a couple cocktails while you waited for your table. You are by yourself and have to drive home. Your last drink was over an hour ago and your home is 30 minutes away. You feel fine so you get in your car and head home. Then something that you did not expect happens, you get pulled over.

DUI is a serious crime. While it may only be a misdemeanor in the criminal Statutes, it’s serious because of the impact getting a DUI can have on your life. Imagine how difficult your life would become if you woke up tomorrow knowing you could not drive for at least six months. DUI is one of the only crimes on the books where you can be arrested purely on the police officer’s subjective opinion. This is important because while a police officer may believe you are under the influence, there are many things you can do to eliminate the evidence that you are under the influence. This begins while you’re driving.

While you are driving, eliminate any basis a police officer may have for pulling you over. Use common sense. When you’re driving at night, especially on the weekend, DO NOT SPEED. Use your turn signals when changing lanes. Stop completely at stop signs. Don’t accelerate through yellow lights. Don’t screech your tires. Any of the above will get you pulled over. If a police officer has no basis to pull you over, you can’t be charged with DUI. Before you start driving, know exactly where your license, registration and proof of insurance are. If a police officer sees you fumble for these documents, he will assume they are indicators of impairment.

If you happen to get stopped, especially late at night on a weekend, first remain calm and have your license, registration and proof of insurance ready for the police officer. Don’t give him or her any reason to suspect anything more than a traffic violation. If the officer starts asking you questions, speak slowly and calmly and answer the officer’s questions directly, but don’t admit to drinking alcohol under any circumstances. It is not against the law to drink and drive.

If the officer asks you to step out of the car you must comply. But, if the officer asks you to perform field sobriety exercises, you have no legal obligation to do so. These "exercises" are not exercises at all, but tests. They are tests designed to be failed. No one practices walking nine steps heel to toe in a straight line in two directions. Studies have shown that the majority of people, who attempt the standard field sobriety exercises sober, fail them. If you are not wearing flat soled shoes, have a bad knee, a bad back, are sick, even if you’re just cold, you have a valid reason for refusing the field sobriety exercises. Tell the officer why you don’t feel comfortable performing them. If you’ve had anything to drink, it’s most likely in your best interest not to perform them. If you don’t have a specific reason to refuse them, there’s nothing wrong in saying that you just don’t feel comfortable. If you haven’t had anything to drink, or you are otherwise sober, and you do feel comfortable performing the exercises, only perform the exercises if the officer can videotape you. This is important because regardless of how well you THINK you did, the officer will find things you did wrong. He won’t focus on the eight times you stepped correctly on the line, he’ll focus on the two times you didn’t. Or the fact you stood on one leg for the entire 30 seconds, he’ll focus on your arms going up and down to keep your balance. Once the officer writes a narrative of your performance, you won’t have any proof of how you actually did unless you have a videotape.

If the police officer does find probable cause that you are under the influence of alcohol, you will likely be arrested and taken to the police department. Once you are under arrest, you have the right to remain silent. Do not say anything at this point. Anything you say absolutely will be used against you. If you cry, the officer will interpret this as a sign of impairment. Any time you speak, you give the officer the ability to say that your speech is slurred, which is an indicator of impairment. If you are taken to the police station after being arrested for DUI, you will be given a breath test by blowing into an intoxilyzer; a machine that analyzes your breath to determine how much alcohol you have in your blood. Studies have shown these machines to be inaccurate. Refusal to provide a breath sample will result in your license being suspended for six months. If you don’t give a breath sample, there will be no evidence of your blood alcohol level. Therefore, if you haven’t had anything to drink, it is safe to give a breath sample. If you HAVE had anything to drink, even though you may not feel intoxicated or under the influence, an intoxilyzer that hasn’t been properly calibrated, can give a false reading. In other words, it could produce a reading of .09 when you are really .07. Once that test has been performed, it can’t be undone. However, if the officer had no probable caus e to pull you over in the first place or had no probable cause to arrest you, and you refuse to give a breath sample, you can challenge the automatic six month suspension by requesting a hearing with the Department of Motor Vehicles within 10 days of being arrested.

Unfortunately, DUIs can happen to anyone. They do not discriminate on the basis of wealth, race, sex, or skin color. Every night of the week people just like you or I could get arrested for DUI who are not guilty of driving while under the influence to the point their normal faculties are impaired. Sometimes it’s about being at the wrong place at the wrong time. If you take all the right precautions and still get arrested, an experienced attorney with significant training and expertise in handling DUI cases can help you. Please stay safe this New Year’s weekend.

Jonathan Zisser, Esq.

DUI Attorney
Zisser Robison Brown Nowlis Maciejewski & Cabrey, P.A.
(904) 353-3222

Three Zisser, Robison, Brown, Nowlis, Maciejewski & Cabrey, P.A. Attorneys Named to Florida Super Lawyers List

         The law firm of Zisser, Robison, Brown, Nowlis, Maciejewski & Cabrey, P.A., is proud to announce the selection of three attorneys to the 2011 Florida Super Lawyers List, a Thomson Reuters Business. This is their sixth consecutive year on the Florida Super Lawyers List. 

Barry Zisser, senior partner for the firm, was selected for his practice in family law. Barry Zisser is a Master in the Florida Family Law American Inns of Court, a member of Board of Directors of the Jacksonville Jewish Federation, a founding member of the Jacksonville Jewish Foundation and a current member of the Board of Directors of the Foundation, past president of Beth Shalom Congregation and a member of its Board of Trustees. He received his B.S. from Brooklyn College and his J.D. from the University Of Florida College Of Law.    

Elliot Zisser, a Florida Bar Board-Certified Attorney in Marital and Family Law and managing partner of the firm. Elliot Zisser is a member and former president of the Florida Chapter of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, and was formerly on the Council of the Family Law Section of Florida Bar. He received his B.A. from Queens College of the City University of New York, and his J.D., with Honors, from The George Washington University Law School.

Donald M. Maciejewski, a Florida Bar Board-Certified Aviation Attorney and a partner in the firm, was selected for his practice in personal injury and products liability law. Prior to practicing law, Maciejewski was a commissioned officer and helicopter pilot in the U.S. Army. He received his Bachelor's degree from John Carroll University, his Master's degree from the University of Southern California, and his J.D. from the University Of Baltimore School Of Law.

The Florida Super Lawyers List is compromised of the top five percent of attorneys in the state, selected through a pool of candidates nominated by peers and reviewed by a blue ribbon panel. Evaluation criteria included significant cases and transactions, representative clients, experience, honors and awards, special licenses and certifications, law firm position, bar and professional activity, pro bono and community service, scholarly lectures and writing, and education and employment background.